There is often a lot of talk within the coaching world around clarity, especially when comes to finding a career you want to move into. But sometimes, clarity comes when you least expect it and when you’re not looking.

It has taken me to get to nearly 53 to be clear on what I want in life and when it came to me, I wasn’t looking. I wasn’t even consciously thinking about it, but nevertheless I got it.

I’ve recently been away on holiday, walking 30k steps a day along the beaches of Northumberland, listening to the constant crashing of the waves in the background, gave my mind the space to think of nothing. I don’t even remember the last time I experienced such a sense of nothingness in my thinking. Normally my mind is amassed with all sorts of thoughts around business, learning, everyday musings of life but on multiple occasions, my friend asked as we walked, “what are you thinking about?”

My response was always the same after thinking about, “absolutely nothing.”

The first couple of times I said that out loud, it surprised me, but by the end of the week, it had become the norm. During the week I had a deep sense of connection to my surroundings and being truly present in each moment. I was probably the most relaxed and rejuvenated by a holiday in years.

For an introvert like me, getting away from it all to recharge my batteries is a necessity and I always go away in the off seasons when you can guarantee to almost have the beaches to yourself at various times throughout the day.

What came next was even more unexpected. Do you ever experience the feeling you know something and then it turns out it wasn’t what you thought or expected? I thought I always wanted to live out in the sticks. It was never about the house, more about the lifestyle associated with living in the countryside and the environment. I thought I would be happy to live inland, up to an hour’s drive to the coast when I wanted to go on the weekends.

Turns out, it isn’t that.

My moment of clarity came when as my holiday was ending. I don’t just want to live by the sea, I need to live by the sea. And by living by the sea, I mean within walking distance of the beach. I want to be able to go multiple times throughout the day, at whatever time I want. I want to be able to go every day.

This clarity didn’t just involve a vague notion of living with a beach close by, but specifics of the town I want to move to. I began thinking about how this would work in terms of how my businesses would operate. Figuring out a way to sell the dream to my husband (he didn’t really need much convincing to be fair), planning timescales, what needs to happen to turn it from a possibility into reality. Every day, it now occupies some of my time and effort and it’s amazing just how being clear on what it is you want can generate both excitement and focus.

This is not the first time I have been on holiday in Northumberland, we’ve been going a couple of times a year for the past five years. So, what was different this time? I think were 3 elements to why I gained such clarity for my future.

1. Mind space

Throughout the day our minds are constantly on the go with work, family, the state of the nation and for some, the latest goings on with who is going to go in the jungle or whatever other time sucking tv show has got folk hooked.

It is difficult to completely switch off all these mind distractions and to be able to give yourself the space to allow your mind to just be open to the possibilities, to focus on what you really want, both consciously and unconsciously.

Maybe, I would not have experienced my moment of clarity if I’d had my dogs with me because all my attention would have been on what trouble they were getting up to. And I think that is what I came to realise, I need to create the time to create the mind space to be able to allow for the moments of unexpected clarity, rather than trying to find it.

What can you do to create the mind space? Is there a place you could visit? An activity you could participate in? Maybe, its going for a walk, taking a swim, simply sitting in a room where you won’t be disturbed. Quieten your mind by turning off or zoning out all distractions, if only for a short period of time, and see what happens.

2. Energy

If you’re tired, drained, or exhausted then you’re not going to be able to do anything. If you try to force it, you only end up even more frustrated. When was the last time you were totally relaxed, the last time you were able to recharge your batteries instead of running your life practically on empty?

In the week away, despite walking for practically 8 hours a day, I felt totally rejuvenated. Of course, I felt sleepy tired on a night, but not once did I feel tired whilst I was out and about. And because my mind wasn’t fighting through a myriad of thoughts, it too was able to relax and go with the flow. I think because I wasn’t distracted by the thoughts which would normally occupy my mind, it was able to process what I really wanted and needed. I was building up energy rather than expending it all and feeling depleted.

Of course, I can’t go away every week, and until I work through my plan, I’m not going to be able to move right now so how else do I create a tiny semblance of totally relaxation and provide an opportunity to recharge the batteries on a more frequent basis?

I have created a playlist of music that lasts about 15 minutes and I lay down with my eyes shut and as I am listening, I let my mind wander, bringing up images of walking along the beach, sitting amongst the sand dunes watching out to sea. It won’t restore my energy levels fully, I know that, but it will give me the boost I need on a daily basis.

3. Connection

Be connected, really connected to your environment and be present in that moment. Pay attention to the simple things, don’t overcomplicate it by thinking about the what ifs, the doubts that you can’t ever make it work.

There were so many moments when I stood watching the waves come in and out, when I took in the sights around me, when I felt the wind and the sun on my face, that I felt a deep sense of connection. It is difficult to put into words but in those moments, I felt this is where I was supposed to be. And I knew I could make this a reality.

When was the last time you felt really connected to where you were, who you were with or what you were doing?

For some their lives become clear really early on in life, they are clear on what they want to do in their careers, where they want to be, who they want to be and what their dreams are. If you’re not one of those kind of people then don’t worry about it, like me, maybe you were meant to take your time to figure it out. You will know when the time is right. One thing is certain though, you need to know what you’re aiming for, if only so you’re facing in the right direction and to be able to see the immediate steps ahead to get you going.